A Poem

A Caution to the Potter's Apprentice

The sweet nectar that cures all ills
rarely drips onto the sun parched soil
from perfect pots
shaped and stamped with the master's seal.

The thirsty seeds sing the praises
of the cracked pots
rejected from the potter's hand
snuck from the pile in the corner
and put into the rough and tumble of everyday use.

A transcript of a lecture never given, by a person unauthorized to teach

There is an old zen story, one of Dogen's favorites it
seems...he reffered to it often in his writings...that
goes something like this:

Once, there was a man who loved dragons. He collected
dragons carved in stone.dragons made of wax, pictures
of dragons,plates with dragons painted on them
,pictures of dragons, and anything else he could find
that related to dragons. This man spoke,thought and
dreamed of dragons,one could say he ate, drank, and
slept dragons. One day a real dragon heard of this
man's love of dragons. the dragon thought to
himself,"if this man loves dragons so much I should
stop by and visit him". So one day when the man was
polishing his dragon collection a shadow fell across
his house....the man went outside to see what had
caused this sudden darkness.....when he looked up into
the sky he saw this huge smelly fire breathing monster
descending on his house. The man ran away and never
looked back.

We all have fantasies about the way we would like
things to be...we all create dragon collections, we
imagine what our life will be like.. we think we know
what zen is, what the catholic church is, what
meditation is, what our wife, our child is like, we
create these imaginary dragon collections, and as long
as we are far enough away from our dragons we can make
our collection into anything we like. When confronted
with the real dragon of Christianity we run away...and
make a collection of Buddhist beliefs... when the
reality of our wife arises we can run away and create
an new dragon collection somewhere else .....we can
fall in love with the distant image of Miss
September. If our husband is not the dragon we thought
him to be..why there are paperback books galore we can
collect...full of images of that romantic bastard we
thought we married.

It does not matter what the dragon collection is that
we accumulate,whether we think Buddhism is this pure
and holy safe resting place, or whether we think
meditation is this holy grail of sitting forever in
oneness...sooner or later the real dragon will arrive.
We can run from the nasty infighting of the baptist's
trying to decide whether women can be ordained right
into that Shangra La of Tibetan Buddhism...and as long
as the dragon stays in Tibet...we can pretend the
nasty infighting over the recognition of Tulkus does
not exist....we can run from the corruption and decay
of the Catholic Church straight toward Zen , and as
long as Zen is in Japan ...well its corruption and
decay are also not seen in the shining dragons we
polish on our shelves.

My friends, life is a real dragon. Full of beauty and
ugliness, full of joy and of sorrow, and wherever
there is life there is shit galore. When we meet the
reality of sitting in meditation we find we are tired
sometimes , we are scattered sometimes, sometimes we
can see for a fleeting moment the oneness of all
things then in an instant it is gone again. When we
meet the dragon of Buddhist practice..sometimes the
pieces do not fall all together in the nice order we
thought we would see...sometimes like my personal
experience a beautiful little girl shatters the idea
of long years of practice in a monastery. Sometimes
there are children, sick parents,depressed partners,
sleepy eyes aching joints and just plain no time.
These are the real dragons of Buddhist practice.

The true test of a person of zen, is not how long they
can sit. nor how long they do sit. Or even how great a
collection of the dragons of nice Zen thoughts, or
nice Zen ideas, of moments of knowing they are
Buddhas,or even of good deeds you have. The true test
of a person of zen is just this ......When the true
dragon arrives....what do you do???

What then should one do when a true dragon appears on
their doorstep???

When I was in the monastery I heard that monks were
sometimes called dragons of zen. and some of the old
hoary dragons were greatly feared by the clouds and
water monks (novices). When one of these old dragons
appeared they were greeted like anyone else...hands
together in greeting, a bow, and room was made in the
monastery for them to sleep, they were offered
refreshing drink and food for sustenance and were made
welcome for the time they chose to stay......and when
they left they were given good wishes for their
health, money for travel, and were sent off with
another bow in thanks for the lessons learned while
they were here. Now this is not to say that caring for
these old dragons was easy or that there was not a
great disturbance in the routine of the monastery
while there were there..sometimes time honored rules
that we all had to follow were thrown out the window
to adjust to this new dragon in our midst. The simple
fact was ...no matter the rules......the
expectations..the inconvenience...the dragon was here
and had to be dealt with and it was our job as monks
to see that it was dealt with in the appropriate
manner. We stumbled, we got angry, we were confused,
we made mistakes, but hopefully...with practice...we
eventually developed some finesse at dragon handling.

This I think is how the ancestors of old thought true
dragons should be treated.

So my friends, feel free to show us your dragon
collections....and we will watch to see what you do
when the true dragon arrives. That is after all the
only thing that really matters.

I will leave you with this ..hope... this wish
.....this recommendation from Dogen Zenji:

"Please honored followers of zen, long accustomed to
groping for the elephant, Do not be afraid of the real
dragon."

Be Well
Fudo

link for Soto-zen.

Here is a link for those interested in Soto-zen.

http://www.sotozen-net.or.jp/kokusai/kokusai.htm

There is some information here on the practice of zazen,
some links to publications of the Soto-Shu, and list of
Soto temples both in Japan and around the world.

Be Well

Fudo

Occam's Razor

Occam's Razor:

"One should not increase, beyond what is necessary,
the number of entities required to explain anything"

This medieval philosopher's logical principle is the
underpinning for all scientific models. It is a razor
used to cut away any explanation that concocts some
complicated structure or unnecessary conditions and in
the end leaves one with the simplest solution. Occam's
razor says the simplest explanation is the best.

Occam's Razor is particularly useful in developing
universal models because it forces the modeler to cast
off complicated schemes and leaves the modeler with
the simplest explanation that satisfies the
conditions.


A thousand years before William of Occam postulated
his razor the son of a king in what would one day become
India, lost his way. He tried to find a way to end the
suffering he saw around him in his life, the suffering
he felt in his life. He postulated a simple way to end
it, proved it and to this day no one has failed to
replicate his experiment who tried honestly to apply
it.

Around this simple formula more books have been
written then on almost any other idea(the Buddhist
canon is the most extensive of any religions). It has
spawned a thousand sects and schools and mutated its
canon many times as it passed through countries and
cultures. This tradition has grown and spawned
hierarchies of gods and demons and hells and heavens.
All of wich may be cut away as unnecessary by Occam's
razor..we can go back to that simple original formula
that no one in two thousand years has been able to
pare down...Buddha himself said this was his
teaching..everything else is just trying to explain
it.

1.every living thing suffers.
2.suffering is caused by desire.
3.suffering can be ended.
4.the way to end suffering is the eightfold path.
a.right understanding
b.right aspiration
c.right speech
d.right action
e.right livelihood
f.right effort
g.right mindfulness
h.right concentration

It is a simple formula that has been discussed for two
thousand years and books and shelves of books have
been written on what exactly is the right way of doing
all these things.

We can end up with endless discussions and
dissertations on right speech..and on right livelihood
and if we can keep these discussions going on long
enough we may never have to actually do them.

I say cut the bull crap. You do not need anyone else
to tell you whether your occupation is a supporting an
uplifting one..you know in your heart if it is true or
not. You do not need some priest to tell you if your
speech is helpful and sustaining to others.You know in
your heart whether this is true or not.There is
nothing stopping you from listening to that small
voice inside you that knows what is right....unless
the chatter of your ego overpowers it. ...so ...just
sit down ..and listen.

I do not care if you face the wall or
not..unnecessary..cut it away with Occam's razor..Soto
or Rinzai?..cut it away...Tibetan or Vietnamese? cut
it away...clergy or lay person?..cut it away..pare it
down ..cut it away ..leave only the simplest
explanation left....God or no God?? *snip*...good or
evil?? *snip*..stick or no stick? *snip* Christian or
Buddhist? *snip* no money? *snip* sick? *snip*
teacher or no teacher? *snip*

If we only would stop burying our own inborn knowledge
of how to end our suffering we would all have the
tools to end it here and now.

When you know it is not good..do not do it.When you
know it is good do it...no excuse, no delay...or put
another classic way ..Do all that is good, do nothing
that is evil...I do not think it gets any simpler than
that.

Apply the technique of modern science..use Occam's
Razor to figure out how to live your life without
suffering.

Hey..do you know what?..when you cut away all the
cultural trappings..I do not think there is one
religion, postulated by any saint or prophet that
would not agree that the formula left from Occam's
razor would be a good way, a healthful way,a healing
way, to live your life.

I cannot believe some people think science and
religion cannot work together. It works for me.

Be Well

Fudo

On gradtitude

Dear A***,

If I have what it takes...boy what a challenge...lol.

I have a poem about this that I wrote a while
ago....it may not at first seem to apply ..but maybe I
can explain it.


The Doshi lead a magnificent ceremony,
but the Buddha on the alter remained
unmoved.

I do not know about you..but I have people expressing
their gratitude to me quite frequently, I usually find
it embarrassing. I look down and scuff my shoes in the
dirt and mumble something like "... it was nothing".
People who have benefited from some action I have
taken feel a need to express their gratitude. I am not
sure how this works..or what need it fulfills..but I
am pretty sure it does not greatly benefit the
receiver of this gratitude. The person we are grateful
to has already received the benefits and costs of the
action we are grateful for, and is probably not really
in need of our expressions of gratitude.

This being said, I often find myself struck by
something that makes me just stop and do a little bow.
This bow does benefit me. It is a physical action that
recognizes the wonders around me each moment...and is
a tiny ceremony that helps to put me back in harmony
with what is happening. ..It is a tiny acknowledgment
of my at least momentary awareness.

I remember when I had to learn the procedure for
offering water and rice to each alter in the
temple...well not each alter..but only certain
ones...and each one had a particular cup and bowl that
had to be set out and picked up at a particular time.
The water at one time..the rice at another. I remember
running around the temple with my tray of water cups
trying not to spill a drop and still get the rounds
made before the time allowed was up....and wondering
what in the hell I was doing. It seemed particularly
silly to me..and I had so many better things to do.
What good would it do the statue? What a joke. I would
have benefited much more from a little nap then I
would from this ..and the statue needed the water not
at all. When I got home...I did not offer water every
day...it seemed a little silly and unnecessary.

Then I read somewhere what someone wrote of the time
of Dogen's death. Dogen's Jisha was so lost and
grieving when the master passed that he did not know
what to do ..the whole temple was in shock..what to
do? how to do it...the poor lost Jisha just kept
bringing tea and cakes to the teachers
grave..delivering and serving just as he always
had...he did not know what else to do. Dogen no longer
drank the tea..he no longer ate the cake. The little
ceremony did not help the master on his way..nor aid
his rest in any way..the little service helped the
Jisha remember and feel close to the master that
helped him on the way. It recalled a time when the
master was there to answer the questions, and whack
the fools, and helped the Jisha remember what he had
been taught at those times. It gave the Jisha the
opportunity to start his day just as he always had,
and to feel a comfort and ease in his role in the
world. The Jisha served the tea and cakes till the day
he died. His fellow monks took up the task because
this demonstration of dedication had meaning and
comfort for them. I am sure this Jisha was not the
first to make such offerings..I am sure Ananda had the
same reaction when the Buddha passed. We do not do
this because the Buddha needs our offerings, we do it
because it eases our grief, it connects us with those
who got the opportunity to serve the Buddha some rice.


After hearing this story..I began to serve the water
and rice again. Not because I was grateful to the
Buddha for his teaching, but because I wanted to put
myself in harmony with those who had gone before, and
served in their turn. I am sure they also did not
always serve in gratitude, I am sure some days they
were tired and angry, and resentful as well. I do not
serve a bowl of rice to give something. I am not so
egotistical to think anything I could do would benefit
the Buddhas. I serve the rice to get something..the
something those who served had..that must be renewed
each moment.

Now I am a Priest. It is my job to make ceremonies and
offer incense. I do the ceremonies not because I will
move a statue..nor speed Buddha on the way to
somewhere he already got. I chant and bow and serve
the people so we can get in harmony with the place
we are, in the moment we are there. So we can create a
place and time where grief is comforted, pain is
eased, good times remembered, and good people are
imitated.The service is not for the Buddha it is for
us. When I bow it is not in gratitude, it is in
humility. I understand the innumerable labors that
have brought me to this moment, and that my virtue
does not deserve it. I bow because I cannot stand. I
cannot hold up the universe on my shoulders..I have
lost...I am beaten. There is nothing else I can do. My
bow does not benefit the statue on the alter..It
benefits me..it brings me into harmony with what truly
is.

Sometimes I feel grateful for the lesson, sometimes I
feel pissed that I lost again. Sometimes the I is no
longer there and there is no gratitude or anger,no
grief or no peace. It does not matter what I feel when
I bow, it does not benefit the Buddha that I bow. When
I really get a glimpse of the way thing really are I
have no choice..the only response I have to the
overwhelming truth is to bow. If I am not really in
the groove and my samadhi has fled in the face of some
storm or another, I can make a bow and remember the
times I bow as I should. I can get some of the same
feelings I get when I have to bow. I can use my
physical being to put myself in a posture that reminds
me of that samadhi, and maybe find my way back there
again. I doubt the Buddha cares if I bow..but I do.

When I bow I am not bowing to ..I am bowing from. I am
bowing from the realization of the overwhelming truth
that the whole world and everything that ever was has
supported the efforts that have brought me to this
moment. If there is a statue in front of me it
represents all these labors..all the births and deaths
and joys and sufferings that have brought us to this
moment. I bow because I cannot bear the grief, nor
dance a dance that expresses the joys, nor carry the
burdens, nor put them down.

So keep your gratitude. The Buddhas and Ancestors do
not need it ...what an ego to presume we had anything
to offer them anyway. We must wake up to the situation
we are really in ..and bow because we cannot
stand...bow before we fall and hurt ourselves. That is
our only real choice.

Be Well

Fudo

On the practice or non practice of Takuhatsu

(written in Sept 2003)

I spent some time in that last couple of days doing
ritual begging at the Renaissance Festival here in Mn.
I made my morning rounds for about an hour and a half
before the festival opened. I felt this was an
important practice that somehow didn't make it across
the Pacific Ocean. I had heard all the "problems" with
bringing this practice to the west..westerners were
different, begging is viewed differently..we do not
want to seem like Hare Krishna's ...begging has a
different meaning here we do not want to seem to be
bag ladies.. ...and on and on a list of excuses for
taking a pass on this unimportant practice ...zen is
all about zazen after all. My histories tell me the
reason that we put work into the monastery (and hence
seshin schedule) was that the Chinese did not respond
as well to begging as the Indian people did so the
monks had to work to grow their own food. It is
interesting to me that these are the same excuses the
Japanese Priests used for not making some begging
rounds. Some of the monasteries still send out their
monks to beg in the streets on a monthly or weekly
schedule , and I had found it an important practice to
me when I was in Japan...more in harmony with my
spirit then sitting still endless hours ..and
wondered if it could not be done here in the west as
well. This has been a practice since the first days of
Buddhism, and I wondered what was different today that
made it impossible here. So I thought I would just
give it a chance and see what happened.

I picked the festival because it is a place where
artists and craftsmen gather. It is a place where
something a bit different would have a chance to be
encountered for what it was...I thought I might get
some chances to teach something to some folks and that
did indeed happen. What I did not expect was what I
would learn by putting out this encounter with the
wider world.

I got basically the same response we got in Japan
right down to the same average contributions per hour.
I got the same reactions from the cringing because
they seemed to expect a bolt of lightning from the
sky, to extreme gratitude for someone taking the time
to bless their business. I got one very negative
reaction which was less then the number we got in
Japan. I found the ratios of reactions to be virtually
identical..not at all what I expected to find...about
as many folks knew what was happening as those folks
in Japan did. I was walking along thinking the
divisions between east and west did not seem so big
and thinking about how down deep we are more alike
then we think when I noticed something else.

I noticed that though I made the same offering of a
blessing, the same chant at each booth..the reactions
fell along a bell shaped curve...some were really
happy..some were really unhappy to be caught in this
little unexpected drama, most fell in the middle. Some
were generous, some were timid ..some were
cheap...some came boldly forward and some hid behind a
curtain and peeked out. In each case my offering was
the same..what was different was what their reaction
to it was...I came to realize that those reactions
were just a moment of how they react to the world...I
was offering this experience ...if they were blessed
it was because they had already been blessed...If they
were uptight...it was because they were that
already..what I was really offering was an interaction
that either confirmed their generous and open nature,
or strongly pointed out their grasping and cold
approach to the world...the blessing were already
theirs, or would not come from me..they needed to open
up to accept blessings or let the good things pass
them by. I was offering them the chance..and whether
it was received or not had nothing to do with me.

After the many remarks about how grateful the
merchants were for the blessings of their shops....I
began to realize something else..this performance of
service and connection to the larger community has
been cut out of most of the practices that have made
the crossings..the offering of services, begging
rituals, festival rites, social activities and
services in times of disaster.. all have been left out
of many centers in the west ( I would say most but
that is an opinion and not a fact I know) It did not
seem to matter much to these folks if they called
themselves Christian, Druid, Pagen, Buddhist or
Muslim. The most frequent response was that they could
use all the blessings they could get,and gratitude
that someone took the time to come to them and offer
them something that they did not even know they
lacked. I had to tell folks that no I could not come
back to them tomorrow because the practice was not to
discriminate, that each booth was to be visited in
turn...none passed and none doubly blessed..It did not
matter if I liked or disliked the shop owner..whether
I had heard the stories of their depravities or their
good works..I must visit each one in their turn, and
then go on to the next one..I had to promise that I
would not quit..and make another round when I could
get finished with visiting every shop...I still have
about a third of the booths to visit next weekend
before I can start around again.

I cannot not count the number of people who bowed to
me on my busy morning rounds, each bow I returned with
a warm feeling in my heart. My lower back is sore
tonight...I have not bowed so much to so many in a
long time.

There is a buzz in the community..something
happened..something different..that got everyone to
thinking about blessings, and faith, and what is
important to them...one person asked me about practice
opportunities and I directed him to a center in his
neighborhood..one person discovered a connection to my
wife because they had a mutual friend who practiced
for a while at my teacher's temple. People had
questions..they now had someone they knew to ask. I
answered questions on such various topics as where to
buy a hat like that..to how to make my sandals....to
deep and penetrating questions about the differences
between Buddhism and Christianity.

I earned enough in an hour and a half each day to have
purchased my food for the day , and to secure a modest
place to sleep for the night...about the same amount
in relative terms as the monk's in Buddha's sangha did
2500 years ago in a land very far away (and maybe not
coincidently about the same amount we earned with the
practice in Japan). I will give this money to my
teacher in gratitude for teaching me about this
practice..he will use it to help build the temple that
will be our offering to the world.

I do not know exactly what will be the effects of what
happened ...but I do know something happened...and
something profound started to flow around, to, and
from one old fat monk stepping out in funny straw
sandals and a big round hat.

I did not ask anyone to become a Buddhist or if they
were a Buddhist..I did not ask any one to sit. I did
not ask anything from anyone..I just put out a wish
that the Compassion of Kannon Bodhisattva be upon this
place and those who come here..over and over
again...and held a bowl for people to put something in
if they wished. ...and before someone tells me this is
not a Soto practice...I will have to tell them that
this is indeed a practice still performed at Eiheiji
and Sojiji..the head temples of Soto Zen Buddhism..the
temples founded by Dogen Zenji and Keizan
Zenji..considered the two founders of Soto Zen in
Japan (I know not many westerners have heard of much
of Keizan Zenji..his writings are not as sale able as
Dogen's) This is a practice at the two head temples
that each Soto Shu Priest must visit to be "abbot for
the day" as part of the Dharma transmission
ceremonies. For one day each Dharma Transmitted Soto
Priest must preside over these temples that have this
practice as a part of the schedule. This is a practice
that has been part of Buddhism since its first days,
and was practiced by Dogen from his first days in a
temple.

We just don't do it here.
...because...because....well...I don't know why.

Maybe cowering in our Zendos pretending it is a good
thing not to take the practice of Buddhism out into
the world is really what Dogen and Keizan had in
mind....but then there is this little nagging
thing....why did they put on their sandals, pick up a
bell, hike up their robes and head out to bless the
homes and businesses of the people of the towns at the
bottoms of the mountain paths?

Be Well,

Fudo

Facing fears

Today my five year old daughter faced her greatest fear.....the dreaded waterslide. We have been swimming at a club for years, she has swum since she was two.....when she was about two, she began using the waterslides, she got scared one time, and would not even sit at the top any longer. My wife and I had tried numerous times to get her to go again, sure that once the fear was passed she would enjoy the slides again....but no go, offers of bribes of favorite toys, favorite meals out at her favoritie family restaurant, but no go....many talks about facing your fears, and the importance of not letting fear control your life, but no go. The top of the slide would induce such panic and fear, that we lost heart in trying to get her to become more accustomed to is, and thus less afraid of it. We gave up trying for a while to get her past her fear.

I do not really know what made today different for her, there was nothing special about the day, the old prompting to try the slide had rested since last fall with a few joking references over the winter...almost every day we swam in the pool with barely a look at the slides crouching there at the deeper end of the pool.

Today I just offered that if she wanted to go to Burger King to get a micropet toy, I could convince her Mom to take us there for lunch...if..she went down the water slide. We had a bit of negotiation, an attempt to do somethinkg a little less scary in order to get the desired reward, and when it became clear that only the waterslide would do, I made the offer,maybe Mom would go down with you if you wanted to go.....There was a new lifeguard on duty, who apparently did not know the rule which forbade going down the slides together, as other parents were sliding down with their children. A quick point at the little two year old girl going down the slide with her mother was apparently all that was needed for the bribe to take effect, enough courage was mustered to be able to make at least one attempt, with the safety of Mom of course, to ease her through the most scary part..the noisy waterfall at the top of the slide.

It was amazing, I do not know if it was more amazing to me then to her, but she loved the slide, up and down...over and over ..all by herself ...then finally upside down and backwards...she was invincible,elated, free at last from the one fear that limited her life for the past three years!.A simple little demonstration about what happens when we face our fears head on, with the support of those who love us, the elation the freedom on the face of the child has not faded yet, she is still dancing while she puts on her little ballet shoes and prepares for dance class.

Some fears, like this one perhaps, protect us when we are too small, or too weak , or too vulnerable to do what we fear. All I can say is when we can trust and let go of all but the supporting hand of our loved ones, and step into that which we are most afraid of, we find a freedom in our lives that is worth the risk.

Sometimes I think about how scary it must be to be five, to have kindergarten, and school buses, and growing and grown up life awaiting just around the corner, it is my hope that we all can find the courage we once mustered on our way to kindegarten for that first day of being on our own for the first time in our life. It is my hope that each of us can find the courage that we once must have had, and in reconnecting with that courage, we can manage to face that which frightens us here in our grown up world, and in doing so find the freedom to be who we are.

Be Well

Fudo

on only don't know

Dear W**,

I think you are trying to make "only do not know" into non thinking.....one
can be in a state beyond thinking, the" thinking about non thinking, how do
we think of not thinking?, beyond thinking" that Dogen speaks about..this is
different then not knowing, although one would probably not know when they
were beyond thinking. I am speaking of a more simple "not knowing" that has
nothing to do with being beyond thinking...it is quite simply being aware
that you really do not know what is going on in situation as it expands
beyond your awareness, and yet here you are, and you must act (or not act) in
the place you are without really being able to understand what is going
on.....when we lack the information we feel we need to be "correct" sometimes
we hold back, or act rashly, because we do not know what to do, but the truth
is ..."we" (our concious mind) never really knows all that we need to make a
complete and correct response. We simply do not know and cannot know all the
antecedent conditions or all the consequences of our acts, even our
compassionate ones...will the person who's wounds we bind go on to kill
millions? Who knows? Will the child we walk past be the next Buddha? We do
not know...and cannot know. We can only make a response on what information
we have, and it is always incomplete. ...So rather then try and know, or wait
till we can have enough information so we can feel we know, perhaps with
just a bow to the fact that we do not know...we can take our best shot
anyway.

I do not know whether vegetarianism is in fact a more compassionate way of
eating then eating meat, I do not believe anyone else "knows' either. So not
knowing allows me the freedom to look at each choice that comes to me and act
in each situation which way I think seems best at the time, to eat the
veggies in my bowl, yet be free to eat the Doctor's gift of meat for monks
he felt were lacking in proper nutrition, for my
health and the health of my fellow monks. If I "knew" vegetarianism was
"correct" then I would be hindered in this situation, and taken out of the
moment by my hinderance, If I "knew" eating meat was correct, then I might
have another reaction to my daily meals of the same vegetables over and over,
and again I would be taken out of the moment. Not knowing frees us from
being bound to our concepts, it does not mean we do not have concepts, it
just means we know that even though not eating meat might be our best guess
as to a "correct" way to eat, we are not stuck in this concept when a
situation that might challenge our thoughts or our beliefs comes up.

My computer screensaver says "So desu ka?"...Japanese (in romanji) for is that
so? This question, posed by a long ago master is for me the essence of not
knowing......when I think.....only don't know is all we need.....my
screensaver might pop up and say "Oh is that so?"

No, I do not know if "only don't know" is the best way, or the only way, or
all that anyone really needs, but it is the most freeing way I have found so
far to allow myself the ablility to be flexible and respond in any way
required to the apparent requirements of the moment. It allows me the freedom
to make a response that I hope in the end will be compassonate for both
myself and all beings in any situation I find myself in, I have found that
when I give myself and others this freedom, what occurs is a compassionate
response. (at least an apparently compassionate response...I guess I am not
sure that I would even know a compassonate response if I saw one).

Be Well

Fudo

Is the goal of practice to have a disciplined and open mind?

I could care less what adjectives you put in front of your description of your
mind while you practice, what matters to me is if you can be there.(ooh we
are really disciplined and open now....we really have accomplished
something...) If you can give a drink to the thirsty, hit the mark, make a
difference. I could care less how disciplined and open your mind is ..or how
loudly your monkey mind is chattering. A conductor does not care how
beautiful you think the music is..he just wants you to hit the cymbals at the
right time...you are in the orchestra, the performance is not for you, but by
you...how much you appreciate the order of your mind does not matter a whit
to the audience. What matters to us is if you can hit the mark...not what
you think about while you hit it. If you need reason to hit the mark fine, if
you do not fine, just bang the damn cymbals when the time comes, and quit
trying to dazzle us with your footwork. It is just a distraction. We are
trying to listen to the music you are too busy thinking about to be making.
....just hit the damn cymbals....leave the why and wherefore and discipline
and openness to those who are just watching the show. Listen to me
now....one two three clang...one two three clang....one two three
clang....first you just do it....I mean ..how hard is that? what great
understanding do you need to do that?...you do not need a music education,
or to be able to complete the unfinished symphony before you play the
music...all you need to understand is one two three clang....why can't you do
that?

Too many yeah buts and the concert is over before you even bang the cymbals
once and you missed the whole thing again, and you did not contribute at all
to the music of the spheres.

Oh I think I have it now...you want to be the conductor, (or have the
conductor's understanding) before you learn to bang the cymbals....I mean who
wants to be just another member of the percussion section?....well you got to
learn to play an instrument before you can lead the orchestra.......why not
start here?...one two three clang.....at least you would be contributing
something to the music of the spheres......which is more then all the yeah
buts (and the people standing in line for the one conductor position) in the
world have ever done. We have a conductor (Buddha) we do not need another
one..we do need someone to bang the cymbals though...are you ready yet?

Maybe if you just count one two three clang throughout the whole symphony the
openness and discipline will arrive all by themselves.....without a thought
or effort in their construction...you might just gain the makings of a real
musician as well, instead of just being a musical prodigy in your own mind.

Yeah but:
" My original point was that disciplined reasoning does have an
important role in Buddhist practice and study. "

My point still is disciplined reasoning just gets in the way of learning to
play the cymbals in the orchestra. I could care less about your lofty notions
of practice and study.......I would rather you just banged the cymbals at the
right time...at least you might actually gain some skill doing that.

In the temple in Japan they did not care if I undersood the sutra we were
chanting in some foreign language...I still had to learn to to bang the
mukugyo in time to lead the chant, and ring the bells a the right
time.....you have to be right there to do that........hmm you mean the
banging might be more important then the understanding?....wow ...who woulda
thunk? Maybe you have to be right there in the moment in order for the
openness and discipline to have a chance to form.....then you have a chance
to understand the sutra.

Maybe once you have played the music, it become easier to undertand what the
composer was creating. Maybe the understanding is just something extra. Maybe
just being the music is enough.

Be Well

Fudo

Metaphors and Images

Dear J****,

Hey! ......You point to one of the major difficulties of just reading Zen
literature. Most of us lack the cultural background, the context if you will,
to get the metaphors that are written about in the old Koans and stories.(not
to mention the difficulty in getting words that have been translated not
once...but four or five times over the years. (I have seen the same koan in
two different sources translated as "If you come with a stick I will give you
a stick", and "if you come with no stick, I will give you a
stick"....opposite indications ....opposite metaphors, both most wisely
interpreted by masters who have read them .....which is correct? ....I am not
wise enough to know.

We also often tend misunderstand the nature of the stories, I remember when it
was pointed out to me that often these stories, were an interaction between
two people who's feet were firmly on the path, rather then between a person
who was enlightened, and one who was not. The dramas are events between two
people which often were engaged in an attempt to break though someone else's
impediment.

Sometimes even on this list, two people who know, are interacting in a drama
to show something to the others on the list. (Al are you there?), and
sometimes they are two people refining their own abilities to walk the path.
(potatos in a sack, knocking the clods off each other)..... As I said in a
recent post, when you get it, it does not mean you never make a mistake
again....it just means you begin to see things in a different way....I think
it is fair to say that Buddha's opinion on the status of women was a mistake
on his part....even enlightened he was not a god, but still a man....this is
not a religion that makes gods of men, or women, it merely completes our
humanness. We are, like Shakyamuni, still limited by our time and place in
the world, this is why we seek a master to interpret the writings from his
understanding based on a time and place (a cultural context) that is closer
to ours, and therefore has some insights to share with us that we can have
the context to understand.

I remember the moment I caught out of the corner of my eye, a teacher running
back to his room to get his bessu (white socks used in memorial or special
services). ...as a trainee, I was expected to have my bessu whenever they
were needed. It was a part of the training to know when they were needed.
This person was a teacher, lecturing us on Dogen, but that did not make him
perfect, unable to miss a mark...it just meant he knew something I did
not....my teacher was often still in the bath while others were waiting for
him to perform a ceremony...I remember laughing at my fellow trainees who
were at a loss what to do, it is not proper respect in Japan for a person
lower in rank to tell a person of higher rank what to do (he is right even
when he is wrong....I am wrong even if I am right)......if we waited for
him..then that was our job.....but he was not coming, and if this went on for
too long then the whole schedule would be messed up...I would chuckle when
feet began to suffle in discomfort as my fellow trainess struggled to find a
way out.........eventually I (not caught in this cultural dilemma) would bow
to my tan (seat in the meditation hall) and bow to my fellow trainess (each
caught in a dilemma they had no way to resolve) and go and get my teacher out
of his bath, help him dress and get to the sodo where every one was waiting
for him....He spoke limited Japanese, and often did not get the drift of what
was going on either..he needed me to help him just as I needed him to help
me. His enlightenment had not conveyed an all knowing, perfection on him the
transcended culture or time and space.....and neither would mine to that for
me, Buddha's did not either...if you have a doubt.....think about Buddha and
women. That is the beauty of this way, Buddha was a human being, not a god.
We can be that too.

Be Well

Fudo