I have arrived at Ruymonji for summer ango. I loved the thunderstorm on the evening I arrived. Ryumonji could not have prepared a better welcome for me if they had a hundred years to plan for my arrival. It has been a busy time as we prepare for the arrival of guests for the sesshin that opens the Ango. There has also been a party for the birthday of the Abbot. There was a potluck in town with great food and a large carrot cake.Doing lots of dishes and I am enjoying the morning service so far.
Getting up early does not seem to be a problem so far, but I assume that will change as the sleep hours are reduced and the daily activities increase. Put on the full robes yesterday for the first time in years. This morning I managed to get tied up in my okesa as I tried to put it on in the sodo. The first arrival for the ango is due any moment. I am settling my bottom in the saddle and getting ready to ride.

huh?

The Monks chanted well
But the enshrined Buddha
Remains unmoved.

Why?

Here is my bottom line. Why do we need to get the government to demand we live our principles? If you want the minimum wage to be 15 dollars do you pay your employees a minimum of 15 bucks or are you waiting till the government tells you you must? How much do you pay your yard guy and your babysitter? How about we patronize businesses that pay all their employees over 15 dollars when we can? How about we avoid those who do not when we have an alternative?Let us encourage businesses to pay a living wage by supporting them when they do? You believe healthcare is a right? How about donating to planned parenthood and other charitable hospitals that do not charge their patients (St. Jude's etc.)? Is there a place for our churches,temples, and civic groups here? Let's keep donating til our hospitals can take care of everyone who is sick and in need? No hospital in your area that takes care of all the sick? time to organize and create one. Do we need the government to take our money and force us to live our principles or can we individually and together be agents of the change we seek?

losing one's self

stepping into the Buddha's sandals
slipping on Kwan Yin's stockings
six of one,half a dozen

fudo's last will and testement

Send me off with chocolate and pistachio nuts. Do not fill your eyes with tears. I am still with you. You have always been the better part of me. Place some of me in your favorite places because that is where I want to be. Your joy has always been my joy. Do not canonize me for I was no saint. When I am remembered I wish to be remembered as I was with all the faults right out there for all to see. I will need a cracked stone to lie under(only a metaphor do not waste time on looking for a flawed headstone} my favorite place was Ryumonji. You all know the drill. I have loved you all as well as I could and I will love you forever. I approve of every choice you make and will make but please do not choose to stop your life because I am gone. Please try and ring as much joy and as much good as you can out of each moment. This is how I tried to live. You all have been and continue to be my pride and joy, own this and carry it forward as you journey on. When it is time for me to go let me go. I do not wish to fight on under even greater challenges than I have now. If I can be restored to the life I have now, then okay I will fight to recover, but I do not think there will be much left to fight with if I am much diminished from here. So pretty much if the Doctors say but...then let me go. There is a distinct possibility with my health and family history that my mind might fail before my body does. I do not wish to take medications to preserve a body who's mind is gone. I have no assets other than you all to speak of or any specific desire for what goes to whom. Let things go to those that wish them, and send the rest to the thrift store of your choice. Please love and take care of each other as you are the things I loved most the world. I have lived the life I wanted to and lived it as fiercely as I could. I have made my peace with it in the end. Be Well, Fudo Michael Koppang.

The Mystery of Zen

The people I meet in America who have some idea of zen seem to think it is some deep difficult, mystical thing. Either that or they think is is some aesthetic idea or principle that includes things plain and natural as in Zen decorating. Zen is deep. It is anything but mystical. Most of all it is not complicated at all. What makes it difficult is that we are trying to understand the teachings that are hundreds if not thousands of years old and from a culture that could not be more different from our own. We lack the context in order understand what is being said. I will attempt to open up the mystery of zen and zazen buy pulling aside the curtain and showing how the trick is done in simple English that those who have grown up in the west can understand. Nearly everyone's mother or father has taught them zen but they did not know it." If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging." If that had be quoted by Dogen Zenji we would all be oohing and awwing over the deep and clear understanding of the Master. The problem. of course, is that we do not know how to stop digging even if we figure out we are in a hole. The hole is metaphorical. It would be true if the hole were in fact a hole in the ground, but the aphorism is as true if the hole is one cannot stop running around with more to do than could ever be possible, or cannot stop feeling depressed, or gambling or drugs or debt are the problem. In the old days they spoke about the great suffering of old age, disease and death. The Buddha spoke of suffering, unending suffering was the hole he used as an example. So now we have understood that we are in a hole, what then do we do about it? The old bald guys figured out a solution. It is just to stop. Stop digging. Sit down. Stop. When I tell people this they immediately say "What then?". Do I count my breaths? Label each thought? Recite Mantras?. What the hell does think about not thinking mean?" We seek to understand but there is nothing to understand and no understanding. My teachers gave no instruction other than to sit down. Just sit there. Stop digging. Nothing else is necessary. If you are in a hole when you sit down you will be surrounded by hole, but you have stopped creating more hole. You mind will play games, you might pretend you are not really in a hole, but the hole remains. You might start thinking about pretty much anything but sooner or later the fact that you are in a hole will be inescapable and you will begin to get hungry or need to go to the bathroom so you begin to look for a way out. When the way becomes clear, move on the way. There is nothing more to it than that. Just sit. Just stop digging. This is such a universal prescription that I doubt anyone in the world has not heard it. It is not the exclusive property of zen, Zen does not own the copyright. It is simply the essential nature of zazen. The next great zen teacher of today is the person who made the Nike shoe ad slogan "just do it." Now that you can see a way forward, just do it. Just go forward. Ooops lost the way? Another hole? Just stop digging, just sit. The path is that way? Just do it. Soon as this moment is taken care of the magic of Zen begins to work on your life. The holes get shallower, the path easier and more clear. Soon there is little digging, little stopping and just less effort in getting through the day. It might take a while but as the days get easier, There might be a little energy left for dancing on the way. This is not some magic that removes all obstacles or pitfalls from your path. My path has led me through a disabling disease that ravaged my body, a diagnosis and intervention that arrived just steps before the grim reaper. I have a legacies from this devastating disease that will limit my physical ability for the rest of my life. I passed through all this with barely a bump in the road because I just did what was clearly the path forward. Without the gnashing of teeth, the wailing of "why me?", the where will I get the energy? and what about the money for all this? I just did it. I had the amazing support of others. I am foolish enough to think that making a valiant effort to take care of each moment up until I needed taking care of helped assure that there were people and resources there when I needed them. The ancients talk about the inexhaustible energy of the Bodhisattva. A fancy way of saying if one does not waste energy on digging a bunch of holes, there is energy enough for all that rises on the path. Even if the mountain seems impossible to climb, take a few steps, sit and rest and then take a few more and sooner or later the mountain has been climbed. Be Well, Reverend Fudo Michael Koppang

variations on a theme

.


catching a moment
in flowery language
poets are liars

Passages

.

A cherry petal floats down
on a warm spring breeze
morning breaks the brand new day


.

On Bowing at strange altars

.
Whether we know it or not,
All altars are created out of the same need.

Whether we know it or not,
All altars express the same desire.

Whether we know it or not,
All altars ask the same question.

Whether we know it or not,
All altars honor the same mystery.


.

On Bullying

Sometimes I wonder how those who depend on the school system to protect them and their children are going to survive in the world when the kids get out of school. There is no shortage of those who will pick on the weak and vulnerable anywhere.

Either you teach your children how to deal with bullies or leave them vulnerable, there are always bullies and will always be bullies. If I remember my misspent youth correctly, it was not that difficult to outsmart most bullies and a little self defense skill went a long way when all else failed.

The system cannot and will not protect you. Wake up and learn to protect yourself.

It is your mind, do not let it be influenced by inferior minds. Cyber bullying is pretend bullying. Just click close and they are gone. see rule one below. A threat on email or in a text is a like a threatening phone call: report it to those who can deal with it appropriately.

The way I was taught was:

1: avoid a bully if you can. Outsmart, out last, out run. Find a safe place when possible. If someone does something illegal, use legal remedies.

2: fight if you have to, but only if you have to.

3: fight to win if you have to fight, because you do not have to win, but you have to make them respect you or you will be a victim the rest of your life.

4: Protect your brothers and sisters (everyone) from those who are bigger than they are. Stand up for those who are picked on when you can. This includes helping them avoid difficulty when it can be avoided.(see rule one).Be a safe place for others when you can.

corollary 1: learn to defend yourself to the best of your ability before you need to because you are going to need to. Besides people who seem confident of their ability to defend themselves do not find themselves victimized nearly so often as people who appear more vulnerable. Most bullies pick the easiest targets. Just do not be the easiest target.

corollary 2: If you are going to die anyway it is better to go down fighting and make the aggressor pay what you can than to slink off and kill yourself or your teacher because you feel helpless and picked on and powerless.

There are times to be the peace you desire, and times to fight like hell for a life worth living. If you are left feeling like the only option is to kill yourself, the time to fight has long passed.

It is not a kindness to leave our children feeling helpless,picked on and powerless. We are the adults, it is our job to see our children are not left with no option but to be victimized.

Variations on a theme (poems in praise of fat bottomed girls)

.
"the dancer"

when she takes one step
long the sweet half seconds be
while her ass takes three


"an ass man's lament"

life is so unfair
she can win the argument
by stomping away



"an ass man's lament #2"

poor sad old Japan
after three months of searching
not one decent ass


"there is no chivalry"

we open the door
so we can look at her ass
as it jiggles by



"tough choices"

I may choose to stay
so I can watch her her bottom
as she walks away




"life lesson"

it's best to bunk with
a woman who has stuff to
fill up her trunk with




kinhin (a blissful distraction)

Walk the zendo round
following her bouncing butt
a perfect moment



.

Re: Brad Warner's post: MAD Non-Conformists and More Bitching About Internet Zen

I would have liked to have seen how your teacher would have reacted to being clicked off when you did not like his response. Not to mention it is hard to pretend to be something you are not while sitting in a room together all day. Pretending you are something you are not is easy on the internet. If you are fooling yourself as to how great you are it is nearly impossible to do that for a whole day in a room together, yet it can go on for years on the internet where relief is just a click away. Which is why many internet zen people never set foot in a real zendo as their being a legend in their own mind would be over in a few minutes. .

In real life your ears have to burn long enough to get your shoes on and boogy your ass out the door.This is an experience one tends to remember. On the internet one can click off and be out of there in a split second, and never look back.

Recently I got invited by an internet group to submit a lecture on a precept for them to study as they were returning to the basic teachings of Zen. They told of all the wonderful teachers that would be taking their turn with me as if this showed how honored I should be that they asked me. This is a group that had previously moderated my posts because they did not like what I had to say, or more specifically my using words like shit and bull crap which went against their understanding of right speech. Evidently I was not nice enough for them back then but they still wanted a lecture now, go figure .

I responded to their request by saying that I had not thought about the precepts in years and yet another reading of someone else's wisdom about the precepts had nothing to do with the basic teachings of zen as I had been taught. I mean come on.. If one googled the precepts one probably could spend the rest of one's life reading about what people thought about them, and would never have to survive a single moment of actually living them. Another lecture on the precepts is probably as needed as another oil spill in the gulf. If one has to take the time to think about how they should respond according to the precepts they are lost before they start.

My teacher does not lecture on the precepts, once in a great while he will read one of his teacher's lectures to an intro group. For those of us who practice with him he demonstrates how to live in the precepts by how he gets up in the morning, how he eats, how he sleeps, how he chops wood and how he rolls up his sleeves and carries the shit bucket from the latrines down the mountain to spread on the temple garden before heading up to the Buddha Hall to lead noon service. Not one of these essential teachings could be gotten from the internet. There is something about holding up one end of a pole bearing a shit bucket that requires one to really completely step in harmony with the Buddha on the other end. Either you learn to do it or you get shit on your shoes and probably the Buddha's as well. This was for me the essential teaching of Zen. To bad some miss this kind of experience. I know I would not trade a minute of it for years of typing questions and reading answers on the internet.

Sure an Internet practice is an easy way to practice, but I was taught not to seek an easy practice. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

All your points were great in this post. Here is my bitch about the same topic.

Good Friday message to a Christian who does not like his religion being suppressed::

"Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me."

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

The Republicans did not take care of Jesus' health care needs.

They were in power for eight years and ignored his illness. Not one voted to get their lord his needed tests or surgery. Not one voted to give him what he needed to live another day, but they love him more than anything except their house or their car, and by God they are not going to pay higher taxes to see that Jesus does not die from illness.

They voted to have someone else give their elderly Lord some medicine sometimes and did not vote any money to do so. They voted to have our children pay for Jesus's medicine. They voted to cut their own taxes to make sure they would not have to pay for it.

They thought he would not deserve to live because he could not afford healthcare. It is just the market, not their doing.

When Christians live their religion I respect them. When they do not, I do not. Put up or shut up. I get so sick of "Christians" worrying about others sinful behavior and not looking at their own.... I think Jesus said something about that as well....something about a mote in another's eye and a log in your own.

Have a great" My Lord has died" day. You kill him everyday with your policies and practices. For those on the right, everyday is Good Friday.

Please by all means, become a follower of Christ. I will love you for it.

Fudo's blessing

.

May you see your self reflected in a smile,
hear your self reflected in a laugh,
and find yourself in someone's arms.


.

the night storm companion

.


its midnight blackness is almost dark enough to match the mood

falling rain raindrops are almost enough to mask the tears

the flashing of lightning and the crashing of thunder mock the need to lash out at anything that moves

the cool breeze that almost relieves the red heat of rage carries the bittersweet memories of other lights that have vanished into the night

the thunderstorm dwindles to a fresh smell that is almost the fickle promise of a new day

The white heat of raging thought reflected in a single tear is not enough to stem the black velvet tide that engulfs all desire

the passing storm is only a brief familiar comfort allowing a slight catch of breath before the rising of the mourning sun


.

A funeral talk.

It is in times like these we stop to contemplate the great matter of life and death. Everything that is born also dies. As we say in my tradition right there in birth is death. When life is created, that life's eventual end is also created, when a relationship with another person is begun, its end is also created. All of us hope that between the beginning and the end there will a full life to fulfill the promise of the potentials that arise with each new thing.

The old masters of Buddhism sometimes ask the Koan (puzzle) what was your face before your parents were born? In the eastern cultures “face” does not mean just your eyes nose and mouth, it means the essence of who you are, including concepts of honor, bravery, honesty, attitude, and all the sorts of traits that go into making up what we think of as a person. Inherent in this question is the idea that who you are is beginning to be shaped before your parents are born. In our time and place we even say we want to know about our ancestry to get to know how we came to be who and where we are. It is not a great leap to move from “what was your face before your parents were born?” to what of your life carries on after our life here on earth comes to an end? A more modern way of saying this is that people live on in the legacy they leave. Those forces that started to shape our world and ourselves that began before our parents were born continue on after our grandchildren create our great grandchildren. The things that really matter about our lives, what we do in this world, have seeds that exist before our birth and flowers that bloom long after our death.

When I was reading the nice words Maj wrote about her mother Marian loving and tending flowers, it took me back to memories of my mother and her love of flowers and how she passed on that love to me, patiently teaching me about the smell of the clover, and the brown pollen one can get all over themselves from tiger lilies. We worked in the garden growing flowers and vegetables that never seemed to be allowed to grow to their full potential before children's hands picked them. Part of Saturday morning before I sat down to write this I spent teaching my Grandchildren about violets and tulips and dandelions. I am sure when my mother shared with me her love of flowers and nature, she was not thinking about the fact that years after her death, that love would be passed on to yet another generation, and that part of her that was this love would live on to brighten the lives of descendants she would not live to know. To this day I cannot see a clover without recalling my mother laying on the grass looking for another of the four leaf clovers she used to find so frequently in the lawn, and that eluded me in many hours of childhood searching of that same patch of lawn. Perhaps not all of my mother is to be found in a patch of clover, but you will never convince me that part of her is is not there as surely as part of her looks back at me in my grandchild's eyes.

I read once in some place or another.(like Marian I am a voracious reader) that there is in each of us an atom that was once in ever other human being that ever lived. This idea stuck in my head as I was at the time learning to see that not as much as I thought separated me from every other person. It sort of helped me to be more generous in my thoughts when I realized that part of what had been me was in every person I met, and would meet. Maybe at a time like this, it would help to begin to look for the atom of what was Marian in each person we meet.

The reality of my Mother was not all flowers and love however, and sometimes some parts of her legacy were not as pleasant for me to deal with. There was the part that was easily hurt, and quick to remember each slight. The part that would often recall for any who would listen each thing anyone else had ever done wrong. This is a part of my mother's legacy I do not wish to pass, and bless her heart, my mother would not wish to have passed on. Part of my life's work is to work with this legacy and heal the broken parts, and spread the parts that are whole and healing. I sort of feel I am healing my mother as I heal myself.

It occurs to me that in this way my mother is still growing and changing as each of us who were touched by her life grow and change. I am quite sure the same is true of Marian as well.

As I grow older and I begin to understand the answer to what my face was before my parents were born I find the more important question becomes “What will be your face after your great grandchildren die?”

Just like we have no control over the circumstances of our Grandparent's birth we really have no control over what happens after we leave this life. What we can control is what we do in this life. All of us are planting seeds whether we know it or not. Seeds that will flower sometimes long after we are gone. The truth is all we can do is plant the best we can, and hope that seeds grow on fertile ground.

do not seek an easy practice

Dear Readers,

I am going to have to ask some of you who have been around for a while to forgive me for repeating myself again and again...but I think it is time for another crack at post number 3. (sometimes I feel there are maybe five posts I just write over andover.....(1: get a teacher 2: yes you really need to bring this into your real life...and on and on a few more numbers.)

We seem to think there is a shortcut...that all we need do is to think the right thoughts, see the right things or even feel the right things......and poof.....so if we read enough books by Thich Nat Hanh or the Dalai Lama then we can be just like them. But Thich Nat Hanh's practice was tempered in a real war zone with grenades and bullets, and the Dalai Lama was driven from his country that he was responsible for and watched those friends under his protection tortured and killed.

Those who pretend to walk around as holy as the Dalai Lama and have not had their practice tested as deep and as hard have no idea whether or not they could respond like he or Thay did to their life practice. The fact is ....none of us knows what will hold up when push comes to
shove...we can only hope we will have the strength to stand as these men have. They have what some of us call "street cred"(cred is short for credibility)......they have proved themselves in the toughest going......and we simply have not. Even though what the Dalai Lama faces in his daily life now seems like a piece of cake compared to what happened earlier...it only seems so relatively. Without the hard stuff that went before...this is still the hardest thing we know....and if the hardest thing we know is living in the richest (or one of the richest) countries in the world ...then that is really not so hard after all.....no wonder it seems difficult to have to deal with a flat tire in rush hour...it is the worst thing to happen to us in ages.

When we have a practice that does not work even in the mildest of conditions to keep us on a stable footing on the path......then we lack "street cred".

The native American elder who I used to work with always says "If your religion does not grow corn...then it is useless". If when you are depressed and looking at that bottle of wine...or when your friends are over and you have a hard time saying no...and you wind up drunk on the
floor and in some trouble...then you lack the "street cred"....your religion does not work for you when the going gets rough...and what you are offering to others is a fraud. The problem is ...the only way to know if your way works when the going gets tough is to actually practice in some tough places. This does not mean that we need to deliberately seek out difficult things....life has a way of handing us difficult things to deal with even in the nicest of places. What we need to
understand though......is when we talk about how abused we were as a child..........we are not going to have much street cred with some 12 year old girl who has had her clitoris cut off and has been a sex slave for 6 years already in some third world country....so we have to also
take a look at our credibility when we speak. We have to gain an understanding about the depth of our own practice and seek our own level and not try to preach to those who will not believe we have any credibility to speak to them.

The thing is......the more we have suffered, the more credibility we have when we talk about how to relieve suffering. The Dalai Lama and Thich Nat Hanh have a whole lot of street cred.....almost anyone wants to have the results of their practice....but no one wants to have to go through what they did to get it.....the problem is ....you cannot borrow someone else's credibility ...it is not yours to share or offer....you can only offer your own....and if what you have does not work in a warm apartment on a gloomy day....it does not have much credibility to a pregnant child in a planned parenthood clinic....no matter if you borrowed one of Thay's books to hand out ....or the latest wisdom from the Dalai Lama. I doubt even Thay would hand out one of his books in that situation ...even though he has more right to do so than we do.....he would probably sit down and hold a hand and stay till no one needed to hold a hand any longer. If he said anything it would probably be words of comfort....spoken in his own words directly to the heart of the person who's hand he holds.

So .......when push comes to shove ...and we are calm...and able to pass through it without getting stuck....then we gain a little credibility....and we then can help others through that particular situation.....because it is not the way that fails if we cannot ...it is
us.....and no matter how well we negotiated the last trial...we still have no idea how well we will negotiate the next one....and we must, if we wish to lead others through it...inspire confidence in those we wish to lead. I do have faith through my practice that this way works in some
pretty tough times..........so...if you want one way that works......this is one.

I have had too good karma to have passed a test in a battle...or to have starved in a third world country.....I cannot really speak to post traumatic stress syndrome, or slavery, or even imprisonment. (though in my naivety I have tried in the past). This stuff we end up dealing with
here is basically a kindergarten practice.....I do not aspire to be the Dalai Lama because I do not wish to be tested as deep and hard as he was....I am fine with being a kindergarten teacher. I will never be great as these men because my karma is too good......a thing I am thankful for every day.

I was raised in a violent and abusive family situation...my father drank all the time and beat my mother almost as frequently; we were physically abused. Yet I lived in a free country in a warm house, with clothes to wear and an education for free within walking distance ........Compared to some in the world....this would have been the best childhood they could imagine.

It is not a surprise to me that compared to Thich Nat Hanh...I lack a little street cred.........to some it seems a surprise to them that they do.

So...I do not care what you think ....I only care if you can walk your path through a little difficulty.....because compared to some..if you have a computer and access to electricity your difficulty is going to be little compared to theirs. If you cannot handle an email list, you
cannot handle life, and if you cannot handle life, you have no business in other people's business. So now you "have seen the light"......how about you go about and get a little street cred before you try and thrill an audience that has seen the same show before....before you comeon here and try to sound like the Dalai Lama ...how about you demonstrate a little bit of his actual practice?....otherwise you come off as an actor playing a part.......like a con....a liar.......dishonest. If you do not talk about moon being moon with your homies...do not put it on here for us....it just sounds fake because it is.

If all you can really talk about is how you could stub your toe and continue walking the path...then talk about that...and those who might stub their toes will benefit.....and you will have the benefit of sounding and being authentically what you are.

No..... I do not sound like a Japanese Zen master....I do not talk like the Dalai Lama...nor Thich Nat Hanh.......I never will........if you are looking for that....go someplace else...if you feel that is lacking here fine...but if you are going to say something say something honest...do
not borrow Thay's wisdom or the words of the Dalai Lama. Perhaps it would be better if you go off and develop a practice as tried and tested as Thay's and then bring your own wisdom here.....then we would honor it.........In case you have not noticed......we only pick on those who
try and come off like the Dalai Lama is their younger spiritual sibling after they have had a whole five minutes of insight, and little or no actual practice.

Interesting isn't it? Thich Nat Hanh had a teacher..the Dalai Lama had a teacher, Dogen, Bodhidarma, Nagarajuna and Ananda had a teacher....the Sixth Patriarch had a teacher....and for those in the know (a little esoteric secret here) even Shakyamuni had a teacher....he is the Sixth
name on my lineage chart....not the first.....seems a little bit....well ....arrogant to think we can get it by reading a book and pondering a bit on our own doesn't it?

All right...this got longer than I had planned it to....and maybe a bit of post #1 and post #2 got worked in there as well.....but I guess it is what it is. It took pretty much all my free time today to get this whipped into some sort of shape....the grandson was needy today.......what an honor to be the one who can offer comfort in a time of difficulty.....makes passing through a bit of difficulty yourself seem like a small price to pay.

Be Well

Fudo

a little brad warner

Here is a quote from an article by Brad Warner on the common ground
website. http://commongroundmag.com/2007/06/tunein0706.html for the
full article.

"
"Nobody's tricked you, you moron," they'd say. "You know what the
truth is. Stop being such a bonehead, and take an honest look at
yourself." Gensa didn't need a Learned Zen Master to tell him he was
in pain when he stubbed his toe that day. And you don't need anyone to
tell you what your life really is either. You sure as heck don't need
me. I cannot possibly tell you anything you don't already know. You
probably agree, since, if you're like most people, you think I'm an
idiot. But you probably also think that somewhere out there in the
land where books are written is someone way cooler and tons more
spiritually advanced than me who can tell you something you don't
already know. Keep right on looking. The publishing industry loves you."

Brad is recounting the tale of Gensa, a monk who gets all upset and is
ready to leave the fricking temple when he stubs his toe on the way
out the gate....and finally understands that he has been deluding
himself that his body is just an illusion, and there is only one who
can delude him...and he will no longer be able to do that anymore.

I just thought I might share this ...for those of you who think the
word moron is not something a Zen priest should say....That no kind of
Buddhist monk would talk like I do.....not only does Brad say it....he
says his teacher's said it to him.

Maybe some of us can fool ourselves into thinking that all Buddhist
monks are sweet and tender, loving teachers who wrap their arms
tenderly around everyone who shows up at the gate.....Here is just a
little point to who is really deluding who.

Many people come here and think that because they fool themeselves,
they can fool me, and all the rest of the rest of the list.

All I ask is that you come here in honesty...and do not ask questions
intended to decieve, muddy the water, or keep yourself in your
delusion because you can delude yourself into thinking you can blame
someone or something else for your misery.

Do not come here and ask questions like "If a man has no teacher, no
sangha, and by chance wakes up, is it not right that he should seek
confirmation from the sources available to him?" ...who exactly do you
think you are fooling? No one really honestly talks like that. The
language is designed to deceive.

Being real and honest.....that is one mark. "I just can't be deceived
by others." and the corollary....I no longer wish to decieve myself
nor others.

Sorry...but anyone with a true awakening would run not walk to the
nearest person who might be able to confirm, and present themselves as
honestly and fully as they could. The internet would leave too much
room for even accidental deception. It could never be sufficent. So
then answer is in the question. A man who by chance wakes up..would
not be without teacher nor sangha for long. Ergo....no teacher no
sangha...no demonstration of awakening...ergo no realized awakening
(awakening made real...realization). All that has been demonstrated by
chance is a dream of realization...and the dream is not enough.

Perhaps we might look to the Sixth patriarch...who awakened (perhaps
by chance) to a monk's chanting of the Diamond sutra. He left as soon
as he could to find a teacher and a temple to practice in. When he was
not found suitible to practice with the real monks...he cut bamboo in
the garden just to be near the teacher and the temple, when it came
time to pick the teacher's successor....it was his poem that won the
robe...and he had to sneak off in the dark so as not to cause the
"real monks" to murder him in their jealousy. Even so they gave chase
and could not find him. In the story there is never a hint that there
is something wrong with the system......the sixth patriarch could not
be deceived. His teacher could not be deceived...certainly not by others.

Be Well

Fudo

something little you could do

For those of us who are frustrated and angry with our government for some of the things that have been
going...or for Washington as a whole........a congress that debates instead of acts....a president who does
not feel the need to lead....those of us who feel disenfranchised and unheard I propose a way to be heard.

Let us do a little thing. Let us go to the funeral of those who live in our town, or near our town who are killed
in the undeclared war in Iraq, let us go to the funeral of anyone killed in the war on terror that we are able to
attend....the government and the media are not interested in us seeing the flag draped caskets. Perhaps...if say a
hundred or so too many to get into the church show up at a funeral..there will at least be local coverage of the event.
If more manage to show up......so much the better......but what would be the effect on our senators and representatives
if they had to hold soldier's funerals in sports stadiums and hire off duty police to direct traffic?...if downtown got
shutdown due to traffic? Could your school flunk you for missing class to attend a funeral?....what would happen to an employer
who was not patriotic enough to let his or her employees attend funerals of fallen soldiers? Who could accuse you of not
supporting the troops, or not being patriotic....come ...wave a flag if you wish.....could your senator or representative afford to be less patriotic
than a few lefties?.....could anyone fault you for wanting to honor those who died in your name?..could others be shamed into taking care
of the injured....if we lined up at the hospitals to watch the ambulances roll in?

We could, of course, all put a dollar in an offering basked for the family of the deceased. We could volunteer at the hospitals until they could not
help to change something do deal with the lines of volunteers that snaked for blocks around rehab hospitals. There are many more things we could
do...but we could start here....just go to a funereal.....one.........

So now ...do not tell me you are helpless..do not tell me you have no idea what you can do. Now that the idea has been shared........the rest is up to you.

I am a child of the 60s and 70s...I remember when a rag tag small group of students demonstrated on my campus...the ruckus in the press was weeks in the debate.......
what more effect could mothers and grandmothers, vets and bank tellers, grandfathers and fathers have?......what issue can all of us come together on if it is not that those who have died or
sacrificed loved ones or body parts in our name deserve our respect?

Be Well

Fudo

on western Zen, and Buddhism as a whole

One of the difficulties of transmitting a way across cultures, is that there are things that do not transfer. We westerners are terribly myopic...what happens here and what we think about it is all that is important....we wandered into a recent war because we could not see beyond our own borders to what would happen if we set off alone to persue something most of the rest of the world found abhorent.

There are Buddhists in the world today who do still think the medical professions are indeed not right livelihood. There are more Buddhists in the world who feel the highest ranking woman should bow to the lowest ranking man than there are who think there should be equality between the sexes...My fellow monks in Japan could not comprehend the fact that there were women in the west who wanted to be nuns....Japanese nuns tend to be orphans who are raised by a temple...few women in Japan would seek to be a priest or a monk...and they certainly would not be encouraged by the Zen community to seek such an ill fitting path...In Japan the group is more important than an individual to this day..the group just looks funny if female forms are underneath the robes...there is a small minority that feels differently ..but this is still the prevailing attitude..... There are probably as many Buddhists in the world today who still think it is impossible to be enlightened while in a female body as there are who think the sex of one's body does not matter......these are the facts........pretending they are not true because we do not see them does not make them go away...

This being said, not every so called "good" solution we in the west have attempted is in fact an improvement. Some of the quaint things we have discarded have in fact been part of the baby that has been discarded with the bathwater.

Saying the sex of the body does not matter does nothing about adapting methods and teachings that have primarily been for one sex to the new way.......there is not a lot about how to handle sexuality in the sangha (an issue the Buddha tried hard to avoid)in what has been brought to this shore.... and not addressing this in the new way will lead to a whole new set problems as we move forward.......witness all the problems of a sexual nature that have occured here in the west...that just do not seem to be that much of an issue in Japan........should men and women practice together an how is not a question that can really be anwered by "of course" without developing some kind of definintions of what is appropriate and how to actually bring this "of course" into a real functioning sangha.

One of the teachings I was exposed to in Japan was about begging and offerings......there is a basic teaching in Buddhism from the first about begging....which was dismissed as "difficult" in America for example.....since the practice is fairly unpleasant for the monk...no one really tries to hard to find a way to incorporate this practice in the west.....and many excuses as to why it cannot be done are offered.....there are things you learn while begging..especially if you are taught to beg in the traditional Buddist way...that you stop at every house..not just the rich or likely to respond ones...that you accept every offering.....nothing is spurned....if you are given a shot of saki..you knock it back...sometimes this is a source of entertainment for some less than respectful people in Japan..to force the monk to compromise the vow not to drink intoxicants and to throw them into conflict with the precepts and the practice about drink....but when the shot is just swallowed a lesson is presented to all who are there. It also breeds a less....well rigid and less easy to understand and interpret view of the precepts...In begging we are taught to sacrifice our honor, our face, our pride, our expectations and our beliefs for what is considered a greater good...there is no such training in most of the Sanghas I have visited in the west. No one wants to go begging....it is intersting to me that when I found a way to actually go begging in America...my experience of begging was virtually the same...about as many of the people gave..about the same average amount..about as many drove me away, about as many taunted me...about as many appreciated what I was doing ...and about as many were led to approach me and ask about what was going on....in spite of all the logic offered as to why we could not do this practice in America....I found it not all that hard to accomplish...when I wanted to.

In the west we practice according to our preference...and style triumphs over substance. I do not know how you become egoless doing exactly as your ego wishes you to do......in Japan we did things we did not want to do at all....all the time....and it was good for us...and we learned we did not need to indulge our egos in every moment....I am waiting to see this idea transfer to the west...so far the effort seems feeble, and the way more about feeding our ego rather than slowly starving it.

It seems to me this is the very baby of Zen.....and it has been tossed with the bathwater. Perhaps it is time to look again beyond the front door of our countries borders, and see if the baby on the ground there is still alive enough to bring back into our lives.

Maybe it would be better to examine some of the conflicts and resolve them to pretend they do not exist. One of the practical problems presented in the modern world presents itself in choices I am offered right now...I have two teachers who have offered to transmit teacher's robes to me...One is respected in Japan, but has problems with many here in America. One is a man and one is a woman. One is fairly well respected in a tiny community in the West, but will never be respected by the establishment in Japan. One is condsidered a respectible member of a long and well established lineage....one is considered a less than desireable member of an old lineage. One would be an international bridge to help bring the old ways to the west..and in the short term an advantage to the idea of planting the dharma in a wide way in the west...one I think really has it...and is going to plant deep the roots...that will take generations to earn respect, and likely be leader of a very small group for a very long time...and if they ever gain notice..it will be long after they are dead..

Interestingly ...both have begged with a bowl....for hours in hot robes and straw sandals...in the hot sun....in tropical humidity.

I have recieved the precepts in two lineages....now I can choose which shade my teacher's robes will be......"once basic approaches are determined...then there are guiding rules"....I am a metaphor for Zen in the west....we too have yet to determine our basic approach....I am grieved that many seem to be choosing an approach that indulges ego in order to raise the funds necessary to earn a living in the west. An approach that feeds the ego, rather than working to bring it under our control, one where style triumphs over substance, and one where only offerings of sufficent quality and quantity are acceptible.

Be Well

Fudo